September 20, 2015

Joining a Sorority: The Ups and Downs

Hey Y'all!

I know its been a while since I last posted. School has been getting busier and my schedule is becoming more and more packed, but exciting things have been happening! As many of you know, this summer I moved to Auburn a week early to participate in formal recruitment. Having had no prior knowledge as to the process and no legacy status, I spent a large part of this summer working hard with my Mum to gather recommendations and attend Recruitment 101 sessions. After all this preparation, I was set! I waited anxiously the days leading up to August 7th, reviewing my outfits and watching last minute Youtube videos for advice. Then the long-awaited day came! I met my Pi Chi group and received my schedule. The next few days were a blur. I experienced highs and lows. On the third day I learned that my #1 had dropped me, but I regrouped and proceeded into Sisterhood day with my 2 and 3. I loved their parties and that night when we went back to our dorms I was full of excitement. There was one day left of recruitment and then I would be greeting my sisters for the first time! The two houses I was going into Pref with were amazing; they were kind and down-to-earth and service focused. I had connected so well with girls in every round. I went to sleep anxious and optimistic of my final day of rush!

And then the call came at 5:30 in the morning.

I nodded my head and spoke in calm tone. We agreed to meet later in the day to discuss everything. But when my Pi Chi hung up the phone, leaving me with the news that I had just been completely released from recruitment, I sat in silent awe.

I didn't understand.

I had put so much effort into my preparation for rush. I had known I was at a disadvantage, with my being out of state and my family's lack of legacy due to the absence of sororities in the UK, but I was also confident in who I was and all that I had accomplished during high school. I had earned my scholarship to Auburn through hard work. I had good grades and a high ACT with multiple honors upon graduation. I lead service groups, was actively involved in my high school, and had held two jobs for over two years. I have always thought of myself as outgoing and a people-person. I love making new friends and being kind to others.

So why was I not wanted?

What made me so different from my peers? What made me become one of the less than one hundred girls dropped from recruitment out of group of more that 1,500 underclassmen?


I decided to write this post because it is a subject that needs to be talked about.

This post is for anyone, any girl or guy, who will inevitably experience rejection and disappointment. It will hurt. Don't try and pretend that it doesn't, as this will just lead you down a road that you don't need to follow. 

You need to accept that it will be hard the first couple days. It is human nature to feel pain, and to want to fit in. But you need to make an effort to lessen the blow of rejection as much as possible. For me it was deleting my Instagram and Facebook apps on my phone so that I wasn't tempted to scroll through the endless pictures of my classmates on Bid Day. I also made myself get up and leave my dorm room. I went to the library and read. I sat on Samford lawn and doodled. I swam laps for a couple hours in the afternoon and then that night I made the decision to join my Pi Chi group for dinner. These girls had made me laugh and smile as well as supported me throughout the process and it was important to me that I be there to encourage them and share my happiness for their journeys that lay ahead with their new sisters. I worked hard to be the mature and compassionate woman I have grown to be in light of disappointment.

And God worked in his mysterious ways.

Because that night, as I was scrolling mindlessly on my laptop, something prompted me to search the words Phi Lamb. And that split-second decision has lead me to a huge blessing.

When I showed up on the first night of recruitment, I felt sick to my stomach. What if I hated this? Worse, what if they hated me? Was I making the right choice? But I went forward with the process anyways. And guess what? It was fun! 

These girls were beautiful and encouraging. They had a genuine warmth and friendship that couldn't be faked. They were silly and uninhibited in their fun. 

The third night I was hooked. As vice-president Anna finished her testimony, I wanted to jump for joy. The authenticity and honesty shown through her words. This wasn't a place where everyone had everything together. This was a place for girls to bond and grow. This was a home.

For me, Phi Lamb represents all that is so wonderful and awe-inspiring about our God.

They accept me for who I am, and when I looked across the room during our new member retreat this past weekend, I saw a group of girls so different in their personalities and looks but firmly rooted in one key similarity: Christ.

So God works in crazy but perfectly laid out ways. Because of my faith in Him and my confidence in myself, I was able to embrace the blessings that He had in store for me. Rejection is hard and it hurts. But remember that God made you with a purpose and a love for you that is beyond our humanly comprehension. 

He knew what he was doing when I got that call Friday morning. He had amazing plans for me when I attended recruitment for Phi Lamb that first night, nerves and all. 

And He has placed an amazing Phi Lamb Phamily in my life to encourage and support me. I am surrounded with sisters who are passionate in their love for the world and others, who are hard-working and optimistic, and who will change the world for the better.

And although formal recruitment didn't work out for me, I firmly believe that He has his hand over all 17 Panhellenic sororities located on campus who are full with equally wonderful ladies.

But for me Sigma Phi Lambda is my home.

"You are God’s masterpiece, created for a purpose (Ephesians 2:10). 
When you and I find our identity in Christ, we can put aside the world’s definition of beauty and worth and remember the beauty and worth. 
He has already created in each of us. 
The world’s love and affirmation will fail, but His love never fails."
- She Reads Truth

Running with joy to meet my incredible Big!

Couldn't have hoped for a better Big 

My New Phamily 

Some of my gifts from Courtney 

Some new artwork for Sabrina and I's door :)

First home game with my first (and one of the best) friend!

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